Sitting Ducks Continued
by Kopatropa
Summary: I'm probably the first one to make a Sitting Ducks fanfic here! Similar to my other series, "The Babylon Rogues". R&R!
1. Scaredy Duck

Scaredy Duck

Halloween is no different in Ducktown. Pirates, skeletons, and monsters. Everyone's having fun. Well, almost everyone.

We see Bill the Duck at the Decoy Cafe, wanting to leave immediatly. He dislkes Halloween.

"Ok, I'm leaving!" says Bill.

He tries to run out the door, but Bev gets in his way.

"Hold on. Don't you want to hear my annual scary story?" asks Bev.

"No thank you, Bev. Uhh... does it have monsters in it?" asks Bill.

"The worst of them ALL!"

"Uhh, no... Is it a true story?"  
asks Bill.

"Yes."

"Ok, maybe just a little." says Bill.

They sit down.

"Every year on Halloween night, Ghost Duck descends on Ducktown, in a pirate ship, just like this. Only bigger!"

"Does his ship look like a salad?" asks Bill.

"Like I was saying, Ghost Duck swoops down and starts stealing people's souls."

"Do souls look like pickles?" asks Bill.

"As a matter of fact, they do. And he puts them where you can never get them... in his soul bag."

A shadow appears.

"I've come for your pickle!" says the shadow.

Bill screams. Bev and Fred the Penguin laugh.

"HMPH! Fred." grimaces Bill.

"Scaredy Duck gets easier to scare every year!" says Fred.

"Nothing like a good ghost story, eh? Hope you're not too scared to come to my party tonight, Bill the Scaredy Duck!" says Bev.

"Steal your soul." says Fred, fast.

Bill rus away. At his apartment, He and Jerry are carving a pumpkin from the inside.

"I don't get it, Jerry. Every Halloween, no matter how hard I try, everyone seems to scare me. Well, I'm sick of it. No more Scaredy Duck!" says Bill.

Bill looks at his carving and runs away in his closet. There's a knock on the door.

"Bill!" says the voice.

"Jerry, it's Aldo! I'm going to scare him! It's my turn!"

Bill opens the door.

"RAWR" yells Bill.

Aldo is dressed as Groucho Marx.

"Hiya, Bill!" says Aldo.

Bill screams.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Why can't I be frightening for once? Where's my chance?!" asks Bill.

"Well, if you want to be scary, you got to need a good costume."

Bill comes out of his room wearing a big, white sheet.

"What do you think?" asks Bill.

"Great! You'll going as my trick-or-treat bag!" says Aldo.

"No, no! I'm Ghost Duck!"

"Uhh...something's missing. I know!"

Aldo runs inside Bill's closet. Wood work is done. Aldo comes out with a pair of clogs.

"Step into these babies, Hans."

Bill does so.

"Terrifying." says Aldo.

The doorbell rings.

"Come on, Bill. It's those bros! They're easy to scare!"

"Trick-or-treat!" says the bros.

"Rawr-rawr!" yells Bill.

They just laugh.

"Look, it's the haunted hill!" says Ed.

"Ok, ok, here's your damn candy." says Bill

"No, please, that was enough of a treat, thank you." says Ed.

They leave, laughing.

"I don't get it, Aldo."

"Bill, look at my new paper ghost!" says Aldo, with a paper ghost puppet on his left hand.

"That's it, Aldo!" says Bill.

"Huh?"

"What's the difference between that ghost and me?" asks Bill.

"No, no, no wait. Don't tell me. D-don't tell me. Don't tell me! Don't tell me! I can do this. Don't tell me! Don't tell me! ...Ok, tell me."

"That ghost is thin. Cut my feathers off and I'll be thin and more like a ghost!" says Bill.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asks Aldo.

"YES!"

One minute later, Bill looks like Ghost Duck.

"What do you think?" asks Bill.

"Perfect. Now that's scary!"

Aldo puts the glasses back on.

"Let's go scare somebody."

"Oooh...I'm Ghost Duck!" says Bill.

"Oooh...I don't know who I am!" says Aldo.

A man opens the door.

"Oooh...I'm Ghost Duck!" says Bill.

"Oooh...I Ghost Duck's best friend!" says Aldo.

They run off, laughing.

"Don't you want your candy?" asks the man.

"Oh boy, that was something. Your costume really packs a punch!" says Aldo.

"Do you think?" asks Bill.

"Oh, no question! You scared the FEATHERS off that guy!" says Aldo.

"Who's next?" asks Bill.

"There's a whole party just full of people at the Ducktown Bowling Alley, and Ghost Duck is going to show up uninvited!" says Aldo.

The brothers from earlier show up.

"Rawr! Rawr! I'm Ghost Duck!" says Bill. He and Aldo run away, laughing.

"Wasn't that the Haunted Hill?" asks Oly.

"I guess he's been demoted to a haunted candy corn!" says Waddle.

The three laugh.

At the bowling alley, Cecil is boobing for apples. He cchokes on one.

"Oh, Cecil, you're embarrassing me again!" says Clair, who runs off crying.

"Hi, Raoul, oops, I mean, BATMAN." says Fred.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asks Raoul.

"I'm The Penguin!" says Fred.

Fred gets beat up.

Bill and Aldo are on the roof. Bill is tied up with some rope which Aldo will lower him in with. Bill opens a door on the roof.

"Are you ready, Bill?" asks Aldo.

"Ok, kill the lights!" says Bill.

Aldo does so. Bill is lowered into the party, looking like Hell.

"Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am Ghost Duck! Booga, booga, booga, booga! Give me your souls!" says Aldo, with a dark tone.

A spider lands on Aldo. He drops the rope and Bill crashes on the floor.

"Hey, that's no ghost. That's Bill!" says Ed.

Everyone laughs.

"I am not Bill! Those are my street clothes!" says Aldo.

"ENOUGH!" says a voice.

A green duck appears.

"It's the real Ghost Duck!" says Bev.

"You bet ya I'm Ghost Duck. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I'm going to steal your souls." says Ghost Duck.

Everyone screams.

"Quiet!"

He breathes out flames to burn them.

"You had it coming, you little crybabies. Every year, people dress up like me, turning Ghost Duck into a laughingstock. But that's not the reason I'm taking your souls."

He points at Bill, who is hanging upside down.

"No, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Out of all the Ghost Duck costumes I've seen, yours is the most insulting."

"Do you mean I'm not scary?" asks Bill.

"You? SCARY?!"

He cuts Bill down.

"Let me tell you about scary, kid. There's all kinds of scary things in the world. Spiders are scary, uhh, I'm scary. You, you're not scary. Ok, let's get this over with."

He rips off Bill's costume. Ghost Duck flies away, screaming. Bill is naked.

"Hey, what do you know? I scared him!" says Bill, laughing.

Everyone runs away, screaming.

"It worked, Aldo. I scared everybody!" says Bill.

"I forgot I made you naked." says Aldo.

"You did?" asks Bill.

"Yep." says Aldo.

Aldo runs away, screaming.

"Don't worry, they grow back!" says Bill. 


	2. Andy Takes a Bath

Andy Takes a Bath

The clock strikes noon.

"Guess what, Cousin Andy? It's that time of week again. Bath time!" says Aldo.

Andy's pupils shrink.

"Come on, let's go get the water started."

Aldo walks away. He comes back two seconds later.

"You're gonna have to get in that tub, Andy." says Aldo.

Andy doesn't move.

"Now, Andy, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way! Or the medium way. Or the semi-medium-easy-hard way. Or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way."

Andy doesn't move.

"So that's how you wanna play it, huh?"

Aldo comes with a box.

"Check out this new toy! Catch!"

Aldo throws tthe ball at the tub, but it comes back to him.

"What the...?"

Aldo reads the box.

"New Boomerang Ball: Really Works!"

Aldo throws the box away, but it comes back and knocks him down.

Aldo later comes as a suicide bomber.

"ANDY! There's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in 3 seconds unless you take a bath!"

No reaction.

"...Please?"

Aldo explodes.

"I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages." says Aldo.

Bath pictures show up, including a book of memes.

"Sorry you had to see that." says Aldo.

Aldo tries again.

"Hey, Andy! How 'bout some leap frog?"

Aldo leaps over Andy. Andy gets on Aldo's back and Aldo tosses him into a wall, missing the bath.

"Hey, Andy! How 'bout some leap frog?"

Andy cripples Aldo.

"I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house!" says Aldo.

Bill and his bath appear and take the money. Later, Aldo dances for a minute.

"That didn't work either, huh?"

Later, Aldo, as a pirate, shows up again.

"Look what I found! It's an old, pirate treasure map revealing a location of buried pirate treasure in this very house. Come on, let's go get that treasure. Whoo! Ok, now 40 paces to the left. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10..."

They are now upstairs.

"24, 25, 26, 27,... 40. The treasure must be in here."

They enter the bathroom.

"Wow, Andy, look! A pirate treasure chest."

Aldo hides all the obvious bath themes.

"Look, dabloons!" says Aldo, with two bars of soap.

"Don't drop 'em. Look at this broach!" says Aldo, with a rubber duck.

Andy's a bit confused.

"I don't know what the hell a baby would want with a broach! Now why don't you just get into the damn tub?!"

Aldo throws Andy in the tub, but he is on Aldo. This happens more times until Aldo has had enough.

"Now, Gary, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to..."

The two end up flying to the ceiling.

"Andy, could you...?"

Andy removes one of Aldo's hands.

"Andy, no!"

The other hand is removed. Aldo falls in the tub.

"Alright, Andy. You have duped, and/or, frustrated me for the last time! So, if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath come to you."

Aldo comes into the living room with an RPG full of water.

"Bath delivery." says Aldo.

Aldo launches water at Andy but misses.

"Come back, Andy. I have something to "chair" with you."

Aldo launches more water at Andy but misses and hits his dirty dishes, which cleans and stacks them.

"'Dishes' more like it."

Aldo misses again.

"'Water' you waiting for, Andy?"

We see Andy on top of a tree.

"Aww, stuck in a tree? It's time to clean up your act, Andy."

Aldo launches all the water on "Andy". A record player that looks and sounds like Andy is seen and destroyed.

"Oh, no! I bathed Andy too hard and removed his skin!"

Andy steals the ladder.

"Andy! Bring that ladder back this instant!"

Andy tips the ladder over.

"I am really not amused, mister! You are going to take a damn bath, and you are going to get clean right now!"

Andy just sits there.

"I am in CHARGE of you!"

Nothing.

"It may be a free country, but you are in my house under my rules!"

Andy walks toward the tree.

"What the hell are you doing?! I'm talking to you, mister!"

He stops at some mud.

"Damnit, do _not_ go near that mud puddle! Andy the Alligator, do you here me?! I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle! One!"

Andy moves closer.

"Two!"

Andy moves closer.

"Two and a half!"

Andy puts a foot over the mud.

"Damnit, don't make me say three!"

Andy gets closer.

"ANDY!"

Aldo falls of the tree and into the mud.

"I'm a... dirty boy." says Aldo.

Aldo is now the one taking a bath.

"Yeah, yeah, Andy. I'm getting my tail." says an annoyed Aldo.

Andy grins.


	3. Rock-a-Bye Natu

Bill exits his apartment.

"JERRY! MAIL'S HERE!"

Jerry flies outside.

"I don't need the newspaper. All I need is the entertainment section!" says Bill.

Bill stretches the rubber band around him, turning him into a bowtie.

"I am a happy duck!"

While Jerry's reading the news, Bill runs around like an idiot. He then runs into Aldo, who also has the same wierd shape.

"I see you got the paper." says Aldo.

"Oh, hey, Aldo." says Bill.

The two stand there.

"Well, I'd better get going." says Bill, breaking the silence.

"Yep, see you later." says Aldo.

They leave, and then hear what sounds like a baby Natu. They come back.

"What did you say?" they both ask each other.

"I didn't say anything." says Aldo.

"Me neither." says Bill.

"See you later, then!"

They leave again, but the same Natu sound was heard. They come back.

"Damnit, Aldo! Quit messing with me! I know you said something!" says Bill.

"Ah, but it is you that is messing with me." says Aldo.

They look down.

"Look, a baby Natu." says Bill.

"I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT!" says Aldo, holding an axe.

"ALDO, STOP! It's totally helpless. It looks like he can't even fly yet." says Bill.

"Is it stupid?" asks Aldo.

"No, he's just a baby. He's all alone with no one to take care of him." says Bill.

"Well, we can't just leave him here." says Aldo.

"You're right. Come on, let's take him into the apartment." says Bill.

The two walk in.

* * *

"Hmmm, let's see, we need a box for him to sleep in."

Bill removes his tail feathers, and morphs them into a box.

"There you go. It's the best _seat_ in the house." says Bill.

Rimshot.

"I wanna see!" says Aldo.

Aldo looks inside.

"Hey, he's kinda cute. Uh-oh!"

Aldo's face in now bleeding.

"I think somebody's hungry!" says Aldo.

"Is it true? Are you hungry? I've got just the thing!" says Bill.

Bill takes out a Shrimp Sandwich. Natu refuses.

"Bill the Duck, are you crazy? That's not the right food for a little fella like him!" yells Aldo.

"Of course not. I don't know what I was thinking. What he needs is a tiny Shrimp Sandwich."

He takes one out, but refuses.

"Damn. No ever turns on these." says Bill, eating it.

"Let's try a donut!" says Aldo.

Refusal.

"French Fries?" asks Bill.

Refusal.

"A donut?" asks Aldo, eating it.

Refusal.

"All I have left is this apple." says Bill.

A Caterpie appears from it.

"Hello! I bring you greetings from Apple World!" says Caterpie.

"Of course! Natu like Caterpie!" says Bill.

He grabs Caterpie.

"Wh...wait! We will bury you!"

Caterpie dies.

"Well, you should be good for the rest of the..."

Natu bursts into tears.

"Do something, Bill!" says Aldo.

"Uhh...uhh...uhh... Blah-blah-blah, look at the funny face! Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, look at the funny face! Look at the funny face!"

Nothing works.

"Wait! I think I might know the problem. Hold on just one second." says Aldo.

Aldo puts a diaper on Natu. Natu stops crying.

"Wow, I'm sure glad you're here." says Bill.

"I know, good thing there's two of us." says Aldo.

"You know, Aldo. Since this Natu doesn't have parents, we should raise it ourselves!" says Bill."

:Yeah! At least until it's old enough to be on its own!" says Aldo.

* * *

After a day of fun, Natu is in bed.

"Hey, Bill?"

"Yes, Aldo?"

"I never thought being a parent could be this much fun." says Aldo.

"Me neither." says Bill.

They go to sleep...maybe...

* * *

The next day comes.

"Aldo, breakfast is ready!"

"Alright! All this parenting stuff makes me hungry!" says Aldo.

Aldo eats everything on the table.

"Hey Natu, how are you doing today?" asks Aldo.

Aldo sniffs Natu.

"Bill?" asks Aldo.

"Yes?" says Bill.

"Kid's got a stinky." says Aldo.

We see Bill handling multiple chores at once.

"Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full." asks Bill.

"Sorry, I have work. I'm the dad, remember?" asks Aldo.

"You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?!" asks Bill.

"I'll give you a break tonight. Don't stop being cute!" says Aldo.

He leaves.

* * *

He comes back later that night.

"Phew, what a day." says Aldo.

"Oh great, you're home! Now you can help me with the baby." says Bill.

"Aw, gee, Bill, I'd love to but I'm totally drunk." says Aldo.

"Aldo, what about my break?" asks Bill.

"Oh yeah, your break. Uh, tomorrow, I promise." says Aldo.

* * *

Tomorrow

"Phew, another tough day!" says Aldo.

"Oh, Patrick, I'm so glad you're home after working all day. I can't wait for my break!" says Bill.

Aldo was too drunk.

"Work was a killer! I need my chair." says Aldo.

"But..."

"Tomorrow for sure." says Aldo.

* * *

The same process is repeated over and over.

"Aldo! We need to talk!" says Bill, sounding like a wife.

"Wait one minute." says Aldo.

"Don't 'Wait one minute' ME, mister!"

Bill turns the TV off.

"Hey! I'm missing my show!" says Aldo.

"You haven't been helping at all with Natu! We made a commitment and you're not doing your share! You never do anything." says Bill.

"I changed his diaper!" says Aldo.

"Yeah, once." says Bill.

"He's only this big. How many diapers could one scallop possibly use?" asks Aldo.

Bill opens the thrash can full of diapers.

"Ah, that's not a lot." says Aldo.

The corner is full of diapers.

"So?" says Aldo.

The fridge, couch, and walls are full of diapers. Bill shows Aldo multiple garbage trucks full of diapers.

"I had no idea! What kind of a father am I?!"

Aldo bursts into tears.

"I'll make it up to you, buddy. I promise!" says Aldo.

* * *

"So, what's the plan for the day?" asks Bill.

"No more fooling around. From now on, I'm Super-Dad! I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time. So make sure you save a big ol' stinky diaper for me to change, and you can take the night off, pal!" says Aldo.

"Great, so I'll see you at six o'clock." says Bill.

Six o'clock is repeated multiple times.

* * *

We skip to midnight. Aldo walks in.

"Oh boy, that was some party!" says Aldo.

He sees Bill standing there, really ticked off.

"What?" asks Aldo.

"Oh, nothing." says Bill.

"Oh, what a relief. At first I thought you were made at me." says Aldo.

"Do you remember what you said to me this morning?" asks Bill.

"Somthing about beer?" asks Aldo.

"No." says Bill, flately.

"Wait... I give up." says Aldo.

"Does 'You can take the night off, pal!' RING A BELL?!" asks a furious Bill.

This was getting tedious for Aldo.

"I don't need this." says Aldo.

He leaves.

"What!? Where the bloody hell do you think YOU'RE going?!" asks Bill.

"I'm going back to work!" says Aldo, going to "work".

"WORK?!"

Bill enter Aldo's house. Aldo is just watching TV.

"So, this is 'work'?!" asks Bill.

"You know, it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes, I gotta move the antenna, sometimes, I lose the remote, and sometimes, my ass itches real bad!" says Aldo.

"Oh, you poor, poor thing! By the way, you forgot your briefcase!" says Bill, who dumps a briefcase full of sweets on Aldo.

"Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime?" asks Aldo.

Bill becomes FURIOUS.

"**OVERTIME?!**"

The two cuss each other out for a minute.

"You DAMN right, it's overtime!" yells Aldo.

"Yeah, THAT'S working!" yells Bill.

"And you know what else?" asks Aldo.

"And if that's the kind of DAMN work you're doing, then show me when or where to sign the hell up for!" yells Bill.

"You're always working when you're just too damn tired to work!" yells Aldo.

"I've been working my damn fingers to the **bone!**" yells Bill.

"You just keep going on working and working and working!" yells Aldo.

"You never never help! NEVER!" yells Bill.

A familiar sound is heard.

"There's that STUPID noise again!" says Aldo.

"Oh, that's not a stupid noise. That's just Natu about to jump out of that two-story window." says Bill.

"Oh."

He jumps off. A strucken Bill and Aldo try to catch him, but they fail.

"Did you catch him?" asks Bill.

"No..." says Aldo.

"**We're bad parents!**" they both say.

A now flying Natu flies to the crying duo.

"N...Natu? He's flying!" says Bill.

"I guess he's all grown up!" says Aldo.

Natu flies away.

"Hey, Bill. Let's have another." says Aldo.

Bill is disturbed.

"You mean another one?"

"Yep."


End file.
